I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
