if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
