If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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