i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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