come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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