he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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