Only a mothe r could love this liver
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
