I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
40s are totally the cure
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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