tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
