Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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