I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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