The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
