apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
