Nicole vs. Life
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize