i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do herpes really smell.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
