What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
