Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
