im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
