New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
