i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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