...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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