The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
