I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
