i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need to align my fucking chakras
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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