great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is my gift to your gina
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
