God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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