the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
