This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
