so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
