moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
