Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
