Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
