I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
