So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
