At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When did angry sex become our thing?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You ruined the universe
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
