She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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