You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
