apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
