I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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