...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
