She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
