eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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