I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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