When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
