so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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