She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
