How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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