just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize