if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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