I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
