My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
