Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
