I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
