hell yes lets make some ravioli
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
