She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
