I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
