No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
