I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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