You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
