Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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