Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
