so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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