Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
