told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
