I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
