You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
