what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
